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random thoughts

I finally managed to connect with a friend who was evidently having a very busy two weeks. We chat about everything under the sun, and get all our housekeeping chores done at the same time - it's a great arrangement. I got all my clean laundry folded.

Somehow, her teenager appears to be taking after neither his mother nor his father, but after me. In that, he is "not realizing his potential" (oh, I saw that on a report card so many times) - he's following the pattern I did in school - getting As on the tests, but Fs on the homework. Although I think I generally got pretty good class participation grades. I just always saw the homework as so pointless and such a waste of time (and there are studies that back me up on that).

It's funny, but I think being able to skate through school like that put me (and others) at a real disadvantage. Yes, DISadvantage. I don't really know how to study. Or take good notes. And the few topics that I was not able to at least partially grasp the first time through - I really have no concept of *how* to learn them. It's like I either get it or I don't, with no in-between. I think the people who had to work a little, who have a system for that, are better off in the long run.

One of my aunts has two kids, one of which was more like me, and one who had to work a little harder, and she felt like the second way was better too. Because for people who almost always have it easy, when you *do* hit something hard, you don't know how to deal with it, and you just give up. Anyone else feel like that?



I am stuck in one of those places where there is no good solution.

In our house, I am the slob. That does not mean I am a slob, but my threshold for dirt/messiness is somewhat higher than Rich's. Very seldom does the house make it to the point where I feel like cleaning. And frankly, I dislike cleaning. I don't mind putting things away as much (books on the bookshelf, clothes in the closet, cat toys away, etc.), because  everything looks so much neater when you're done, but the actual cleaning, which makes less of a visible difference, I hate. And I hate it twice as much when someone makes me do it when I don't think it's necessary. Rich will occasionally announce that we need to spend the next hour or so cleaning, which I never want to do. He likes to get everything done in one big push; I have more of a "5 minutes here, 10 minutes there" approach. Interspersed with rewards for myself, if I'm doing it all in one day.

Furthermore, I was raised by a woman whose philosophy was, "there are some things it's worth paying someone else to do, and cleaning is one of them." Hell, yeah.

Right now, he's stressed out about the upcoming fireman's test, and the house does get on his nerves when it's messy, so he asked me to help him stay on top of it for the next month. Which I totally understand.

So, now that my raise finally came through, I'm more than willing to get someone to come in and do the cleaning stuff every week or two weeks. Except, Rich hates the idea of a stranger coming in and cleaning. I think it sounds like the best thing ever. I wouldn't even mind being there while the person is cleaning, since he can get remarkably paranoid, though I wouldn't mind handing over a key to someone who came vouched for. But the main point is, he wants me (and himself) to do it, and I'd really prefer someone else to do it. Because I hate it, and frankly, when you force me to do something I hate, I do a freakin' half-assed job anyway. So if I pay someone, not only will I be happier, but it will get done better. But bringing someone in will just stress him out more, which is the last thing I want to do right now.

Sigh. I hate cleaning. This sucks.


personal responsibility is gone

Just had a woman in here to complain that her grandson was watching pornography at the library yesterday, and what were we going to do about it. I explained that we have a web filter, but it's only on the children's computers and does not catch 100% of inappropriate content, and that's all we can do.

She wanted an assurance that it wouldn't happen again. I re-explained about how filters aren't perfect, and told her a determined kid can always find something that the filter doesn't catch. I ended by saying that it's the parents responsibility to supervise their child, and if they don't want the kid using the computer when they're not here, they should take away the library card.

Her response? "I think it is the library's responsibility!" Uh, no. I am not the parent. It is not my call whether any specific item is or is not appropriate for your child. That is a PARENT's responsibility. You don't like what you kid's up to, then supervise them more. Don't tell the school or the library it's their job. It's not, and there are a lot of other parents who would take serious umbrage if they were to try.

Oh, and she also thought that the filter should be on ALL the computers - I explained that adults have the right to look at whatever they want, but she didn't much like that statement either.

ETA: Look, a comic on just this topic!


he's gone

This morning at 11:30, I held my sweet little kitty in my arms as they put him to sleep. I'll miss him so much.

poor pathetic kitty update

The chemo was going relatively well (the vet said she could feel a size difference). Unfortunately, he stopped eating. At all. So, we put in a feeding tube. It's not like with people - he's not attached to a machine or anything - it's not last-ditch, like it is usually with humans. He's just got this really pathetic-looking collar which anchors the feeding tube that goes right into his trachea, and we can put food (and medicine!) straight into the tube.

So hopefully that can get us over the hump where the chemo makes him feel better enough to eat again. meanwhile, we don't have to wrestle him to give him medicine, which is a real selling point. Neither of us is talented in medicating cats. There's a knack.

I can't believe how much money we're spending, and yet I can't bring myself to say, "no we can't afford that". Good thing we paid off all the credit cards in January.


say it'll be fine

Prospero has lost a lot of weight recently (2 pounds!), so Rich took him to the vet today. He said there might be some kind of lump in his abdomen. He's getting an ultrasound tomorrow.

I hope whatever it is can be taken care of really easily.

I'm trying real hard not to think about it so I don't break down at work. I need to be here for another 2 hours before I can go home. And my poor kitty won't even be there - he's at the vet's overnight.




almost done

I went on a little spree at Amazon, and I have now purchased presents for everyone on my list except my mother and father. Mom claims she doesn't want me to get her anything, but I can't do that - though I might break down and do a gift card, which I generally do not do. And I'll just get Dad a sweater or something.

I have next week off, and there are one or two things I want for myself, so I'll force myself out on Monday when most people still have work and the stores aren't too bad.

I'm determined to get myself at least one nice cosy sweaterdress while they're "in" - anyone know who has cute ones? With shape?

fun with book titles

Best title spotted today:

To the Last Man I Slept with and All the Jerks Just Like Him
Well, I can think of multiple books to go with that title. Fiction and nonfiction both.



There are Christmas decorations up in the neighborhood where I work. It's just wrong. Merchants need to realize that the earlier they try to get me "in the holiday mood", the more I resist it, saying "no, no, it's too early!" I found myself last year realizing that it was the 18th of December, and I hadn't yet started playing carols on my mp3 player.

Listen up, retailers - we do not need to be "in the Christmas spirit" for a full sixth of the year. Early November is too early. Let's all agree to the day after Thanksgiving, the way it used to be.

And I really didn't appreciate seeing the Christmas decorations up when I went shopping for my Halloween candy.